Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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