oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
