If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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