You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
