dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
