Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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