What a fucking waste of an outfit
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
