after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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