Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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