I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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