My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
