party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
