garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
