Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
