The maid of honor just puked.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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