Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
