How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
