i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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