Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
