My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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