let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
