He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
