I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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