If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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