Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
