You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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