Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
