So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
