Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My breasts were aching with rage.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
