Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
