you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize