Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
