I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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