I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
