you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
