i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
