things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
