Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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