me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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