I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
