Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
