I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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