Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He better not be in your backpack
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
