Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need to align my fucking chakras
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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