I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
