I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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