Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
