new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I currently don't understand fingers.
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