my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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