you would pick up someone in the library
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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