I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
