For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
