i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
