What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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