If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
