This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
