High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
