Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
