Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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