I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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