He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
