well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
