the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just want nice things and good sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize