Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
