he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
