We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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